I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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