Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
