My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
