I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
