At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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