So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
