Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
