It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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