Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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