Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
