she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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