all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
