I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
