Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
