i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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