anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
