We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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