i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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