Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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