Your face is a jimmy john
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
