I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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