Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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