Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
