at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
