I think my fart just growled at me.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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