Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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