We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
