Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
