I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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