Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
