plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
