Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
