Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
