Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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