there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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