Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
