ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
