Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
