Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
