Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
