So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
