That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
