and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
