I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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