Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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