There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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