I think i sorta joined a cult last night
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We are all done wearing pants today
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
