i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
