If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
