Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
