yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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